You are currently number one in the queue for a slice of lemon drizzle cake.
Please pretend you’re on hold and enthusiastically sing ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ to yourself before continuing. I’d really love for you to remember this as being a super special website contact page.
To claim your slice, or to discuss the meaning of life, feel free to get in touch:
Tel: +1 201 699 6135 (please don’t call between 6:20pm in the evening and 5:50pm in the afternoon)
Email: malcolmdavies77@hotmail.com (my most profesionalistic email ever)
In person: Hang around the lighthouse next to the Hudson river in Newport between 10 and 12 most weekday mornings and I’ll probably walk by at some point. I’m the tall one with glasses and grey hair, probably trying to hide an unusually serious natural facial expression with a slightly odd fake smile as I pass you.
Jellyfish Rock 