Lost In Paraguay

Despite the title, and even though I have a worse sense of direction than the average 10 year old, I didn’t actually get lost in Paraguay. For various reasons though, the word ‘lost’ did play a star role this last week.

During the week in Paraguay things unfortunately went a bit wrong on more than one occasion. In no way do I blame Paraguay or the Paraguayans, just to be clear; it’s a beautifully verdant and peaceful country, full of fantastically friendly people.

The reality is that the mini disasters were at least half my fault, with the end result being that I sadly didn’t get to see as much of the country and culture as I would have liked to.

So if you’re hoping to hear lots about this often ignored part of South America, you might come away a bit empty-handed, though I’ll do my best to describe what little I did manage to experience.

On the other hand, if it tickles you to read about my little mishaps, you’re in for a bit of a treat.

Money can’t buy happiness

Usually it’s a good idea to do some research about a country before you travel there. For some reason though, I completely skipped the basics when planning for Paraguay.

I forgot to check if I needed a visa and didn’t even know what the currency was when I landed.

After queuing for 30 minutes with some random Americans and Canadians to pay for an entry visa, only to be told British citizens don’t need one, I headed off to collect my luggage and get some cash out.

Not knowing what the currency was, nor the exchange rate, I figured I’d just choose the middle amount the machine suggested. And that turned out to be 1,000,000 Guaranis. Paraguay made me a millionaire!

So bedazzled was I by my new found wealth, that I accidentally left the cash machine a little thank you note in the form of my bankcard.

I’ll never understand why some machines spit out your money before they return your card.

Worst design flaw ever.

Pushing the button

Remember the awesome TV series Lost? If you never watched it, there was a key story-line in which someone was locked away and had to type a sequence of numbers into a computer every 108 minutes to avert worldwide catastrophe.

For a while now I’ve been receiving some warnings from my website server telling me things I don’t understand. I asked the server host about them and was told it was entirely my responsibility (Hostgator sucks).

As it turns out, I apparently didn’t do so well with that responsibility, and so 3 days into my Paraguay trip my other website crashed the server. I was then helpfully told by Hostgator (who suck) that the databases were corrupt and my website gone forever.

Cue major panic attack.

I quickly enrolled help (thank you Yan and Abdul!) who worked out three things:

1. It wasn’t gone forever – Hostgator are just clueless.
2. I should change server asap (because Hostgator suck).
3. Until that happened I would have to intermittently push a ‘reset’ button to keep the server and website online.

To make matters worse, the server was crashing so regularly that the button had to be pressed every 2-5 minutes at times. So I sat at my computer in an almost abandoned little hotel, glued to the screen in an attempt to keep my livelihood alive.

After around 24 hours I started turning Jack Nicholson in the Shining insane. I then resorted to paying someone to push the button for 4 or 5 hours so I could get some food and some sleep.

It took 4 days to resolve this absurd situation.

I woke up on the 5th day bursting with enthusiasm to brush off the cobwebs and stretch my legs, only to discover there was torrential rain and the road outside the hotel was no longer a road.

The roads in Paraguay are in such bad condition that any serious rainfall results in major flooding. And since I didn’t have a boat, I ended up staying in once again.

I’ll never get those 5 days of my life back…

Shopping Del Sol

When I first arrived in Asuncion, the hotel staff proudly pointed me in the direction of an upmarket shopping center to get some food. Shopping Del Sol then became my kitchen, living room and general sanctuary away from pushing the button.

Like all shopping centers in South America, there was a huge food court with decent food to be found. With the buzz of the locals filling the space and the strangely hypnotic smooth jazz on constant repeat, I settled into a bizarre daily routine of eating lunch and dinner there.

I’ve never liked eating alone, especially not in a food court where so many kids (and adults) seem to find it entertaining watching the only foreigner eat.

I guess I kind of saw it as an opportunity to overcome another pointless insecurity. I was also too exhausted and stressed from pushing the button to think about doing anything else.

I even watched the champions league final there, along with hundreds of Paraguayans who evidently take advantage of the large screens, food and warmth to hang out watching sports.

It’s a strange thing when a shopping center food suddenly erupts with shouts of “goooooooooooal!!!!”

It was only later in the week when I befriended one of the 5 other guests in the hotel, a Uruguayan who was also travelling alone, that I ventured to other places.

He was mystified as to why I’d eat there every day and took it upon himself to rescue me from the odd life I was leading in Paraguay.

Thank you Sebastian!

Paraguay

So, what about Paraguay?

Most travelers skip Paraguay from what I can gather. And to be honest, if you only have time to see part of the Americas, I can kind of understand why.

It doesn’t have that many grand buildings, incredible ruins, beaches or massive party scene that many foreigners might hope for when visiting the region.

It’s also the second poorest country in South America, and the poverty that so many Paraguayans live under is very evident.

Even in the capital, Asuncion, there’s an area of makeshift wooden dwellings right next door to the presidential palace where people try their best to get by, having been flooded out of one of the already poorer neighborhoods.

However, I think it would be a mistake to overlook Paraguay as a travel destination for several reasons.

The people

The Paraguayans are super friendly. They reminded me of the Surinamese with their welcoming, polite and constantly smiling way. Everywhere you go they’ll happily chat to you and tell you about the country and culture.

Like the Surinamese, it seems that they genuinely appreciate foreigners visiting their country and it really matters to them what impression you take home. So if you enjoy getting off the beaten tourist trail, Paraguay will welcome you with open arms.

And even though it’s a South American capital city, despite the need to take the usual precautions, it’s a surprisingly peaceful and safe place to wander around. I found Colombian and Brazilian cities to be far more dangerous.

The nature

I love it when you fly into a capital city and are met by infinitely vast swathes of green, both in the city itself and the surrounding countryside. Asuncion is no exception, filled with leafy plazas and tree lined streets.

So important is nature in the culture that many Paraguayans prefer to go shopping for medicinal plants than visit a doctor. And even those that don’t will still consume vast quantities of herbs in the national drink, Terere, on a daily basis.

Outside the cities you find varying landscapes, and despite rampant deforestation in parts, in and around Asuncion still feels green and tranquil. And of course Paraguay also shares with Brazil and Argentina the mighty Iguazu falls. Which I didn’t go to because of my Lost re-enactment…

Guarani language and medicinal plants

Fortunately, before my website issues I did have a chance to go on a couple of day tours to learn what I could about the country. It says a lot about the lack of tourists that there’s just one city tour bus, which only goes twice a week. And the day I went there was a driver, two guides and just one other tourist.

The guides on both days were keen to explain why Paraguay doesn’t have the same man-made splendors as some of its neighbours, but also what it does have instead.

Paraguay suffered badly from two wars, one in the 1800s and one in the 1900s. The result of each war was a massive loss of population, land and economic power. The repercussions of the second war are still felt today in that around 70% of the population is under 30 years old.

So instead of showing us large historical monuments (which wouldn’t take long) much of the tour was based on wars, natural resources, culture, artisan crafts and tradition.

The majority of the population, for example, still speak the indigenous language Guarani. And unlike many other countries in the region, even the non-indigenous people speak it, often drifting confusingly from Spanish to Guarani in conversation.

As well as maintaining the language, the people have also held onto a strong tradition of using medicinal plants. There are markets full of stalls selling huge quantities of dried plants, and some of the busiest shops I saw were absolutely brimming with plants and herbs.

There’s a natural remedy for everything it seemed. Talking to the market sellers, I was presented with Gravioli to prevent cancer (which I of course bought) and a particularly potent plant called Viagron (which I of course didn’t buy).

Walking around Mercado Cuatro, smelling the plants and chatting to the medicine women who practice the ancient art of folk healing was truly fascinating.

Onwards to Uruguay

So after a week in Paraguay, it’s time to head East to Montevideo and spend some time in the other guay.

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely stuck in the abandoned hotel and missing Laura even though we’ll meet up in just over a week, so I’ve decided to break with tradition and stay with a local family in Montevideo.

Let’s see if I can do a better job of forging meaningful friendships with locals rather than constructing a patch-work social life that consists of random people in bars and hotels, shop assistants and cleaners.

So for now I’ll leave you with some more photos of Asuncion and the surrounding area.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.